Next time get a pattern…

We are back on-line.  Mark looked up some tech support-type stuff and it came up with the highly technical solution of giving it a bang on the side.  Or unplugging it and plugging it in again.  All the sophisticated devices in the world – and basically it comes down to this: give it a bang.  Or switch it off and on again.

Maybe that’s what they should do with the Toyota.

Customer:  My brakes don’t work

Tech support:  What have you tried?

Customer:  I took it to the garage and they hooked it up to the computer and did all kinds of technical stuff for about six hours.

Tech support:  But have you tried giving it a bang?

Actually, thinking about it, a bang is precisely what would occur if your brakes didn’t work.

Mm.

Holly’s interview today.  Are we nervous?  A little.  I find that, when I’ve prepared thoroughly for something, my brain goes into “what else can go wrong?” mode.  Whereas if I’m not thoroughly prepared, I just worry about that.

You can’t win.

Wish her luck!  I’m going with her.

Pattern?  Oh yes – last night I unpicked a jumper which I had unwisely knitted without a pattern and which turned out to be just the right shape for a dalek.

Doctor?  Doctor!  I’ve got a late Christmas present for you….

Have a good one.  I’ll let you know about the interview.

Kirk out

Blog off

As I write I am off-line because our wireless internet has unaccountably stopped working.  This happened before – and the only way to connect is to perch on the very edge of the bed so that the cable will reach.  The cable is attached to the wall in a position which was perfect when I used the side bit of the room as a study – but now I don’t.  We could free it but that would entail moving two heavy bookcases stuffed with books with files on top and boxes on top of that.  Not to mention a skeleton which wouldn’t fit in the cupboard.  So there it stays; one of the semi-permanent inconveniences of this house.

What are the others?

Don’t get me started.

I was twirly

Went to bed too early last night.  Result: woke up at two and couldn’t sleep.  Found out that son (who has been setting his own bedtimes since turning 13) was still up, in spite of needing to rise at 8.30 this morning.

This must cease!

No youtube clips today as it’s all too hard, what with the cable and everything.  As it is, I’m going to have to cut and paste this once I get plugged in.

I’m going to keep a record of what I read this year.  I’ve got a little diary.  So far I’ve read mostly Ian Rankin.

Reminds me of that Fast Show character:  ”this week, I shall be mostly eating – peas!”

Whatever happened to Paul Whitehouse?  He was a plasterer, you know.  Clever bloke.

I mean it.  Have you ever tried plastering?  It’s like trying to iron the sea.

Kirk out.

Aylestone meadows campaign

I’ve done it – I’ve written to the City Council and my local councillor.  I may also write to my MP.

On board so far are Peter Soulsby MP and Friends of the Earth.

Write to someone today!

If you like you can copy and adapt this letter:

Planning Application no 20090772

I am a resident of West End area and wish to protest in the strongest terms about this proposed development.  Aylestone Meadows is one of the very few wild habitats in Leicester and is popular with dog walkers, fishermen/women, ramblers and families.  It is also a habitat for numbers of flora and fauna.
This is a disastrous application which would ruin the area.  There are many better areas to place football pitches including brown-field sites. Leicester’s claims to be “Environment City” would also be ruined by this development.
Friends of the Earth are supporting our protest, as is local MP Peter Soulsby and many local residents.
Please reconsider before vital habitats and spaces are lost forever.

It’s scat man again…

Apparently Johnny Dankworth wrote the theme tune for Tomorrow’s World.  You know:  “ba-ba-ba-ba-BA! de do do do do do-do. Ba-ba-ba-ba-BAA!” etc.

Reminds me of scat.  Remember Scat Man John?  Whatever happened to him?  “I’m the scat man!  Do be do be do be dum bum bum…”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEVUKofgNrU

Apparently scat also has another meaning.  I won’t tell you what it is – you’ve not had breakfast yet.

I’m not going to the library today – so don’t visit.

Kirk out

PS Mark is now awake and says that Scat Man John died.  So that’s two RIP’s.

Two Johns, come to think of it.

Plus John Peel.  That’s three.

Ba-bi-di-da-do-doo-do dabbi-doo-doo

RIP Johny Dankworth.  He and Cleo Laine were never off the telly in my youth.

Reality is DEFINITELY following this blog: I suggest a woman on Point of View – and hey presto, Lisa Jawardine begins to do it.  Not only that, but I have a character in a short story – The God Illusion – called Lisa Jawardine; and I’m sure I hadn’t heard of her when I wrote it.

Spooky!

Kirk out

Off to kirk

Unheard-of bloglets

Let’s see how they’re getting on…

It’s a Tuesday evening.  Brian D Right, Jill Sands and Bob are gathered in the Black Lion for a drink…

Jill:  So, how’s the world of buses, Bob?

Bob:  It’s very good.  But I haven’t read much.  I just look at the pictures

Jill:  Eh?

Brian:  Not the book, Bob, the actual World -

Bob:  Oh, you mean the real world

Jill:  What we laughingly call the Real World – yes.

Bob:  I had this woman in the bus station the other day.

Brian:  That’s unusual.

Bob;  Ha ha.  She was really old and deaf.  She grabbed my arm and said, “young man – “

Brian: Was she blind as well?

Bob:  Very funny.  When’s your hair coming back, Brian?  The tide went out years ago!

Jill:  Now, lads!  Tell us about this woman, Bob.

Bob:  She saw a bus coming in, and said to me:  “Young man, is this the bus for Margate Harbour?

Jill:  Margate Harbour?  Bit out of the way.

Bob:  That’s what I thought.  Except I thought what she said was, Market Harborough.

Brian:  That would make more sense.

Bob;  Exactly.  So I said, “This one goes to Market Harborough, madam – “

Brian:  Very polite!

Bob;  ” – and then to Nottingham.”  She seemed quite happy, got on the bus and paid her fare.

Jill:  And then what?

Bob:  When the driver came back later, he said she got out at Harborough and said, “Where are the ships?”

Brian:  Ha, ha.  That’s a good story.

Jill:  What happened to her then?

Bob:  History does not record.

Brian:  Ah.  (They drink)  Bob?

Bob:  Yes?

Brian:  it’s your round.

(Thanks ratae for the story)

Slugdom Millionaire

That’s our Typo of the Month.  I loved the film Slumdog Millionaire.  Haven’t been to see any new films since HPHBP, which is now out on DVD.

Yesterday sat and watched the whole of the BBC’s Pride and Prejudice.  Enjoyed it immensely: the whole thing was so well-done: the costumes, the houses, the carriages – it all felt right.  The acting was almost without exception excellent, (and I’m not going to mention Colin Firth because my readers don’t like to find drool all over their posts)* – however, the only false note was struck by Alison Steadman, whose portrayal of the mother I thought completely over-the-top and not at all Austen.  The two sisters (of Bingley) were hilarious – their costumes making them resemble the Ugly Sisters more with each episode.  A thoroughly excellent adaptation.

Found Casualty somewhat preposterous, though, even by its own high standards.  Couple have near-fatal accident, lose baby, get back to work straight away, split up instantly.  Meanwhile a moral about understanding and tolerance is laid on with a trowel.

Looking back over some of the comments I’ve had, the last year or so.  They are actually quite encouraging, especially some from other writers.

* Oops – I mentioned him.

Happy Sunday

Kirk out

Hyperdrive is The Navy Lark

- not Red Dwarf.  Thus spake Mark, this morning.  I think he’s probably right.  Remember The Navy Lark?

Peter seems to think I wasn’t concentrating because I didn’t get Neverwhere.  It’s because there wasn’t a plot!  They go down to this underground world and then they have to find something or someone and cross a bridge because otherwise… yawn…

Can’t be bothered.

Here’s a bit.  Make up your own mind:

Talking about fundamentalist Christians this morning and how they always seem to use the word “just”.

“Oh, Lord, we just pray…. and just…. and just help us to just…..”  If you’ve been there, you’ll know what I mean.  Adrian Plass takes the piss.

http://www.adrianplass.com/

Sleep the sleep of the just, I thought.  That was a joke – very nearly.  What were those adverts with bloke and butler where he says:

“That was a joke!” and the butler says,

“Very nearly, sir.”

?

I’ll try to find a link.

Nope.  Not finding anything.

Tomatoes today, the wittily-named breakfast at the Martyrs.  How so?  Because a child once named it “Church of the Tomatoes”.

Kirk out.

PS Update – Mark had a patient yesterday, has one today plus someone picking up medicine.  For this relief much thanks!

Lizardyoga calling! Come in, universe!

Sometimes it’s as though the universe is responding to this blog.  I enquire whether Mr Pullen is still alive: next day they mention him on The Archers.  I blog about the AA, then they are on the news.  Apparently they are talking about going on strike.

When bankers talk about leaving the country, we stuff their mouths with gold, cry “Please don’t go!”  When workers talk about going on strike, we say “You’ll lose your job, you know!”

To make the rich work harder, you pay them more

To make the poor work harder, you pay them less.

… And I don’t get paid at all.

More comments, please!  I’m feeling discouraged.

Kirk out

NeverWhat?

Borrowed a DVD of Neverwhere, a TV series from the 90’s.  It’s low budget, British, which can work (I liked Hyperdrive) but this doesn’t.  It’s set in a fictional world under the London Tube network, and it has some good ideas – I like the idea of there being an actual angel at Islington, and having a character called Old Bailey – but it doesn’t come off.  I didn’t find it convincing, and after two episodes we couldn’t work out what the hell was going on – so it went off.

Thanks Peter, but you can have it back now.

Ratio of spam to actual comments so far on this blog: 10/1.  Somewhat depressing.  More comments please!

Feeling a little discouraged this morning.  We are now totally skint and last night I did something I haven’t done for ages – scour the house for money.  We found £1 in copper, but as you know, anything over 26p is not legal tender.

Anyone got change for 100 pennies?

Kirk out