Had to put this one up. It’s first thing in the morning. Ladimir is listening to the news, with headphones:
Ladimir – God! Three degrees in Edinburgh!
Oestrogen: What?
L – Three degrees!
O – What – temperature?
L – Of course, temperature! What else?
O – Oh, nothing
L – It’s so foggy
O – Really?
L – Yes – theyre saying you can’t see your hand in front of your face!
O – Wow! So I guess -
L – Yes?
O – I guess they’ll be saying -
L – Yes?
O – “When will I see you again?”
L – (Sighs)
- you can twitter these things now
- I can what?
- Oh god
- You can just…
- Why would I want to?
- What do you mean, why?
- I mean, why? why would I want to do that?
- It’s Twitter!
- “It’s Twitter”. That’s an answer?
- It’s a statement. What more do you need?
- I don’t know where to start with that one
- then don’t.
- I won’t.
- that it then?
- Yep.
I suppose Twitter is like grooming. Was that an anthropological moment? I guess. Watched a lot of Michael Jackson videos back to back in a hastily cobbled-together “tribute” programme and was awed by the things the man could do with his body.
Great day yesterday. Tennis, strawberries, cream, and conversation with Stephen. Will Murray beat Federer? I can’t see it.
I feel a novel coming on. Soon.
Enjoy the day, whichever time zone you’re in.
TTFN
PS Having actually watched both Murray and Federer, yes, I can see it.
PPS Hate to admit it, but I actually quite like Twitter now. Not that I have done any, you understand – I’m just coming round to it.
PPPS I used to have a Round Tuit, a plate which hung on my wall and waited.
- Darling?
- Mm?
- Oughterby
- What ought?
- no. Isn’t there a place called Oughterby
- Mm. Yes.
- Where?
- In the Meaning of Liff
- No. But really
- Yes
- Where is it?
- Midlands. Must be. Ends in “by”. therefore it’s influenced by the Danes
- Ah! As in “terby or not terby”
- Go back to bed.
Don’t panic. If it gets any worse I shall call the little men in white coats myself.
A naff come-on
If I said you had an ancient religion
would you hold it against me?
(inspired by parallels between my life and Cohen’s ie he is a Jew, I am a Christian and that therefore his religion is more ancient than mine. Also, he turned to Zen and I to yoga. I have always felt a profound connection with him but this means nothing. This is what it means to be a Cohen fan)
I never did believe
I never did believe salvation lay
in following orders
I’m lost now:
Please Leonard
- tell me what to do.
Here’s a poem about an incident when Ian Anderson was on TOTP and the cameraman insisted on knowing what his movements would be. Anderson insisted on being spontaneous, saying he didn’t know what he was going to do until he did it. That’s my kind of guy.
(the lines should be sung to the melody of the first line of Space Oddity ie Ground Control to Major Tom, slowly and with the second line echoing the first)
For Your Comfort and Convenience, Spontaneity has been Removed From this Poem
Camera man to Jethro Tull
camera man to Jethro Tull
what moves will you do here
what moves will you do here
and where will you be now
and where will you be now
at this point in the song
at this point in the song
and where will it all end
and where will it all end
Jethro Tull replies
I don’t bloody know
I haven’t got a clue
where I’m gonna be
what I’m gonna do
the whole point of the song
the whole point of the song
is to be where you are, now
to be where you are now
and this is where it ends
and this is where it ends
(the melody then somehow warps to the last line of Space Oddity)
Can you hear me cameraman?
Can you hear me camera man
Can you hear me camera man
Can you hear
(some other kind of mixture of the elements of the song to fade)
…….
Here’s a poem about spontaneity
A citizen’s reply to me
when I give this a mention
“will my insurance cover it
and what about my pension?”
Ladimir and Oestrogen (again)
- Oh god! And pat, here he comes like the catastrophe of the old comedy
- Hi, Pat
- No, you dingbat – his name’s Mark
- But you said -
- I said he was a catastrophe
- who are you calling a catastrophe?
- You. No. Your entrance. Like King Lear
- Feline punctuation
- what is?
- Catastrophe
- Oh, ha ha.
- Darling?
- Mm?
- What’s an IUD?
- A something device. Unexploded
- A something unexploded device
- Uh-huh
- Interim? Investigative? Imaginary?
- Sadly, no
- In my day, an UID was a contraceptive device
- Uh-huh. Well, I guess -
- Yeah, I guess either way
- It’d work pretty well.
- Yep
