Ugh and double ugh!

Not well at all – slept the whole day yesterday, a bit better today but still won’t do much.  Mark took my blood pressure this morning – 120/50 – very low.  He is going to do me some medicine.  Glad I got in all that training when I did.  Hopefully I’ll be ok for the 5th.

Missed the whole of Mark’s birthday but he doesn’t like birthdays anyway.  Much to my chagrin – I think birthdays are important.  So instead of going out they had takeaway pizza.

I feel as if I’ve lost 24 hrs of my life.  But I guess I’m not often ill, so when I am it feels strange to me.  I’m lucky in that way.  Have a tendency when I’m ill to feel abandoned and very sorry for myself.  Also some weird nightmarish experiences which I can’t define but which could be to do with hospitalisation when I was 3.

Not heard from Mary and John – I guess they arrived OK.

Kirk out.

Happy Birthday to – Ugh!

Mark’s birthday today – 42.  AND it’s on a Thursday.  I bought him Richard Dwkins’ God Delusion and a book called The Case for God.

I am not feeling well today.  I think I’m just exhausted from waking up at between 4.30 and 6 am every morning.

For the last month.

Going to stay in bed today.



this is the site for the webcam, which to me is proving addictive.  Watched about 3 hours yesterday – there’s something very restful about the lack of sound on many of the plinthers’ per – I was going to say, performances, but they’re not exactly that.  One of the best things about this project is that it’s not entertainment: people don’t feel the need to “dress up” what they do, to jazz it up, make it interesting: neither do they find it necessary to bleach their hair or put on lots of make-up (and that’s only the men!).  This project says, “people are interesting”.  This is an anti-celebrity project, and that, I think, is why I felt such a strong desire to be part of it.

Thanks, Antony!

Yesterday’s plinthers included a man who inflated balloons with helium and tied a package to them to publicise CLAPA (Cleft Lip and Palate Association).  He seemed to be getting people to phone him when the balloons landed – a brilliant idea.

One of the best things about this is you get to see what people’s real (as opposed to manufactured) preoccupations are.

Got to go now – need to – erm – bleach my hair.

Kirk (sheepishly) out.

Additional: yesterday I had a call from One and Other asking if they could pass my details to Sky Arts.  So I may be giving them an interview.  I may also be writing it up for a yoga magazine.

Nimbletwimble, puckyduck, fibby fob

… such were the sounds running through my brain as I woke up.  My brain usually wakes up about 15 minutes after the rest of me – as the rising sun sweeps over a lawn, causing the shadows to huddle to a point, so consciousness sweeps my body, starting with the feet.

Why the feet?  So you’re ready for action, I suppose.  But can the feet engage without the brain?

Mm.  Maybe there’s a primitive part of the brain which wakes up first, so that you’re ready for flight if necessary.  Does this make sense?

Does any of this make sense?

Today I am going to do some stretching.  Still tired after Monday’s 54 rounds, although waking up at 5.30 doesn’t help.

Seeing Depth in Trivial Thoughts

There’s something quite Proustian in the most everyday, trivial actions.  For example, when I come up to the bedroom, the top of my sewing box  seems an ideal place to put my teapot, milk jug and mug.  But once I reach the bed, once I am sitting up with the laptop on my knees – the tea seems very inconveniently placed.  Everyday life is made up of hundreds of such incidents – and I am convinced they affect our consciousness at least as much, maybe more than our larger actions.  Lilliputian.

I’ll leave you with that thought.

Enjoy the day, if not the weather.

Kirk out

Tewkesbury rules!

Watched the webcam yesterday to see what people are doing.  The first woman was just sitting around and taking photos of people on her mobile.  The second was much better – he had been made an honorary town crier for the occasion and was telling people about his home town of Tewkesbury.  It’s easy to sneer at pride of place, but I have a sneaking admiration for those who are proud of where they live and want to tell others about it.  (I come from Hounslow, and what little remains of its history – the heath, the coaching inns – has been erased, leaving it a no-man’s land under a flight-path.  It isn’t even at the end of the Piccadilly line any more.)  The information he gave out was good – unfortunately marred by a number of execrable poems, one of which turned out to be by John Betjeman (this just confirms my previous opinion of Betjeman.)

Remote and ineffectual fan

who dared attack my Betjeman

The cherry-picker was not as scary as I’d imagined, plus the plinth is not as terrifyingly high, now that I can picture myself up there.  From what I’ve seen so far (which admittedly is not very much) what I’ve got planned seems to be quite different and certainly more thought-out than some.  For example, the bloke who followed the Tewkesbury crier just stood there and paced up and down as though he was waiting for a bus.  After a minute he said:

–  I’m bored already – and there’s 59 minutes to go.

Did he not give any thought to what he was going to do?  Or did he think that inspiration would come to him once he was up there?  In my experience, that rarely happens.

(Incidentally, the Betjeman poem is a parody of one of his, which begins:

Remote and ineffectual Don

who dared attack my Chesterton

Enjoy the day!  I’m going to be resting.

Kirk out.

The Queen and I

I have never had that dream, which, according to Mark, is the most common dream in Britain. How he knows these things, I can’t tell, but he says it with such authority that I believe it. The Most Common Dream in Britain. Perhaps even in the Commonwealth, I point out. He concedes with a slight nod, whereupon I punch him on the shoulder and he grins. No – I have never had that dream. I have, on the other hand, had daydreams which are along similar lines: daydreams in which there is a meeting, daydreams which involve a great deal of dialogue and which usually, if I am outdoors, involve a number of people staring at me and perhaps wondering if they should inform the authorities. You can see the headlines now:

Local woman claims she was “talking to the Queen”.

Anti-psychotics would no doubt be winging their way to my bed. As we speak.

And there’s the rub. In these conversations, these Audiences (why is it called an Audience? Who is hearing whom? Or, who is performing?)

Mm. This was going to be the beginning of a short story but I find I want it to be a blog.

Kirk out.

Marcus Garvey update

Yes!  Mark posted the question on Yahoo Answers and got 3 answers, one of which was “erm…” and the other two of which had vaguely heard of him.

Yes!  Vindication.

Not that I care about winning arguments of course.  it’s the truth I care about.  And the truth is….

I was right!  And Mark was wrong!

Yes!  Picture me doing a dance of triumph.  All morning.

Kirk out

Speaking of total veg…

Yesterday Mark and I both fell asleep in church.  And the sermon was not boring – in fact it was good (Mark wishes it to be recorded that he didn’t actually fall asleep – he was just resting his eyes.  My grandad used to do a lot of that.)  On the way home, we both realised that we are exhausted – in fact I had asked for prayer for a holiday.  The woman who prayed with me was very nice and asked permission to touch me on the shoulder – THIS IS IMPORTANT – others please take note!

What we need is either:

an injection of cash


someone with a house by the sea who would like to swap and stay in our chalet in the woods.  Any offers?

It’s raining today.  Yesterday I spent the whole afternoon and evening watching films and having a bath.  I watched:

Shaun of the Dead

Shallow Grave

How to Get Ahead in Advertising

Bruce Almighty

We did stop watching How to Get Ahead in Advertising to listen to the Archers.  Does anyone hate Matt Crawford as much as I do?  Also, I was wondering whether Annette is actually going to meet Jazzer rather than Alice’s friends – but I could be wrong about that.  I just have the feeling she’s Up to Something.  (Wednesday: she wasn’t, at that point, but last night Jazzer phoned and she ditched her plans and agreed to go out with him.  The words “hiding” and “nothing” come to mind.)

Film-watching very therapeutic – went to bed at 8.45 and feel much better this morning.

Today I am going to train in the park at lunchtime.  All this week I will be training at 1 pm because that’s when I’m going to be up there!

And it’s raining.  Mark (blessings be upon him) is going to join me.


Kirk out