An Appeal on Behalf of a Despised Group

Today I am telling you – I mean, asking you – to dig deep into your pockets and give generously to a group of people who are utterly despised in our society.  These people have been threatened with eviction from decent society many times in recent months and have already been evicted from our hearts; yet somehow they cling on to a precarious life, supported only by governments and global financial systems.

Take David: David is an investment banker from York.  He has a wife and ten houses to support, not to mention yachts and horses, one of which is not even tax-exempt.  What this man has to struggle by on would make the rest of us flush – I mean, blush: would you believe me if I told you that after investments and mortgage payments are taken off this man has less than $20,000 a day to feed his racing-cars?

That’s why we need your help.  And to make sure you give it, we’re going to take it directly out of our funds.  That’s right: we’re giving from your – I mean, our – pockets, from the taxes you so generously squeezed out – to make sure David and others like him never have to sell another holiday hom in Antigua to pay their accountant’s bill.

We should all be ashamed.

Bong!  In other news, Steve Jobs has died.  I thought he was the bloke who started Facebook but apparently he was the guy who started Apple.

Watched ‘Shaun of the Dead’ yesterday with Daniel as part of Film Studies, which was good.  We are still reading the book about bullying – can’t remember what it’s called.  Holly spent most of the evening doing her Biology homework – it has become her favourite subject, though she tends to avoid asking Mark for help.

‘Dad?  What’s the function of mucus?’

‘Well, I think you’re really asking me three questions there.  It depends on which type of mucus you’re talking about.  Now, if it’s the thicker mucosa, then….’

‘No, Dad!  Is it a) protection or b) excretion or c) – Dad?  Dad?’


Today I am supposed to be going swimming with Daniel but I don’t feel like it.

Kirk out