– or ‘arse long, y-fronts longer’, perhaps… You know how there was a fashion for young men to wear trousers half-way down their backsides, tastelessly displaying half the underpants beneath? It was utterly gross and thankfully you don’t see it much any more – but, well! Daniel has a pair of trousers which saves him the trouble of having them at half-mast * by having a false pair of pants sewn into the top!!! I ask you! It’s like having a false ladder in your tights or a false hole in your crotch. Tights – now there’s another abomination. There have been a couple of periods in my life when due to work, I was obliged to wear skirts – and hence, tights. Tights are the work of the devil; they are an instrument of slavery. Uncomfortable and cold in winter, uncomfortable and sweaty in summer; you only have to look at something sharp to get a ladder in them – and if you’re a teacher you quickly find that old school desks and chairs eat tights by the dozen. Tights are not a garment – they are an instrument of oppression and should be consigned to the outer darkness.
Having said that, I have some brightly-coloured pairs which I wear for fun – but that’s completely different. I also have some thick woolly ones which do keep you warm and don’t get ladders in. But the others – the ones that imitate flesh? You can keep ’em.
Last night I went to Pinggk thinking poets would be thin on the ground – but there were loads! It was a great evening with some music, French poetry and songs from Mellow Baku. I did The Lady in the Van and sold a couple more pamphlets – I now have only two left! which is brilliant.
I may go for a swim today, if the pool is open.
PS Blast! It isn’t.
*or half-arsed, lol