Life Imitates Arse

– or ‘arse long, y-fronts longer’, perhaps… You know how there was a fashion for young men to wear trousers half-way down their backsides, tastelessly displaying half the underpants beneath?  It was utterly gross and thankfully you don’t see it much any more – but, well!  Daniel has a pair of trousers which saves him the trouble of having them at half-mast * by having a false pair of pants sewn into the top!!!  I ask you!  It’s like having a false ladder in your tights or a false hole in your crotch.  Tights – now there’s another abomination.  There have been a couple of periods in my life when due to work, I was obliged to wear skirts – and hence, tights.  Tights are the work of the devil; they are an instrument of slavery.  Uncomfortable and cold in winter, uncomfortable and sweaty in summer; you only have to look at something sharp to get a ladder in them – and if you’re a teacher you quickly find that old school desks and chairs eat tights by the dozen.  Tights are not a garment – they are an instrument of oppression and should be consigned to the outer darkness.

Having said that, I have some brightly-coloured pairs which I wear for fun – but that’s completely different.  I also have some thick woolly ones which do keep you warm and don’t get ladders in.  But the others – the ones that imitate flesh?  You can keep ’em.

Last night I went to Pinggk thinking poets would be thin on the ground – but there were loads!  It was a great evening with some music, French poetry and songs from Mellow Baku.  I did The Lady in the Van and sold a couple more pamphlets – I now have only two left! which is brilliant.

I may go for a swim today, if the pool is open.

Kirk out

PS  Blast!  It isn’t.

*or half-arsed, lol

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