How to Set a Mind

This works best when the mind is fresh.  Open the mind (this is a temporary procedure and nothing to worry about!) and pour in a couple of strong thoughts.  Close mind and leave for a few months.  Do not stir – the mind will set on its own.  Once hardened the mind will stay set until it reaches the end of its useful life.

Should you wish to re-set the mind you can use a good solvent such as Brain Wash (TM) – however this is not recommended as it can cause permanent damage.  An alternative method is to insert pertinent questions at intervals – this takes longer but has been found to be more effective on most subjects.  It also has far fewer side-effects.


Once the mind is set it may still be affected by its environment.  It should therefore be stored in a sympathetic society among Like Minds, otherwise over time the set of the mind may be eroded.

Care must be taken at all times to preserve the balance of the Mind Set.  Whilst resistant to many kinds of change, sets are nevertheless vulnerable to pests and should be kept in a clean, dry place away from dust, Free Thoughts and Rising Liberation.  Recommended containers are available, colour-coded according to the Set (make sure you get the right colour for your Mind otherwise seepage will occur.)  Popular containers include Religion, Politics and of course the perennial favourite, Education.

Though Mind Sets are popular it is important to choose the right one for your subject.  Fortunately this is all-but inevitable because of your own Mind Set.

What do you mean, you don’t have one?  Of course you do!  Everybody has one!

So… moving on: don’t ask me whose particular mind-set provoked that little dissertation…

Yesterday as most of you will know, I was on Radio Leicester.  I arrived early which was a mixed blessing as I was able to chat and relax, but then at the same time I got more nervous as the clock crept towards 3 pm.  The news and weather had never seemed so long.  ‘Now for it,’ I thought – but no!  there was traffic news! – and then he played one of my chosen records, My Sweet Lord, before I got to speak.  It was fine, I felt relatively relaxed though still a little tense and plagued by the frog that lurks perennially in my throat (I’ve got a poem about that).  I did two from the Ripe Tomatoes collection – the Ballad of the Bowstring Bridge and the Ode to the Upperton Rd Bridge – and he also played a rather drastically slow live version of Suzanne.  The programme is still here on iplayer until next Sunday (start at one hour in)


See you next year everyone!

Kirk out


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