Synchronised Science

Being televisually challenged but intellectually au fait with things, I had heard of Brian Cox but never actually seen him.  Then the other day I caught up with one of his programmes.  I wish I could tell you all about it but alas! I can remember very little as my attention throughout was riveted by Dr Cox himself.  Is there a more irritating presenter on TV?  He doesn’t just smile a lot; he never stops smiling, which gives to his voice that grinning quality so beloved of advertising voice-overs and cheesy comedians.  But it’s more than that: his face, his eyes as he gazes into the camera, his flawless complexion and the sheer aura of Utter Charm – all say ‘Oh, my God!  Look at me!  I’m so knowledgeable; I can give you all this info about science and I understand it all – but at the same time I’m so gorgeous and cute!  Isn’t that amazing?’

Sheesh!  Give me David Attenborough any day.  Now that man truly is amazing: well into his 80’s, multi-talented and still chasing rhinos in Africa.  Here’s his latest prog:

And here’s Brian Cox’s incredibly irritating website:

His relentless smiling reminds me of synchronised swimming.  Now, there’s another thing I hate.  How is that a sport?  I’m not denying that it’s difficult or strenuous, but it’s a performance.  It has artistry but it’s not a sport.

Quidditch for the Olympics

What I’d really like to do is take a scalpel to the Olympics.  From a series of half a dozen easy-to-follow events it has become a bloated monster in a world where every sport aspires, however unrealistically, to be an Olympic sport, so as to get the kudos – and yes, of course, the dough.  The day I learned that tiddlywinks had been granted Olympic status I gave up on the whole thing.  Not that anybody noticed: as Basil Fawlty responded to the Major when the latter looked at his newspaper and ejaculated: *  ‘Strike, strike, strike!  Why do we bother, Fawlty?’

‘Didn’t know you did, Major.’,+strike,+strike

How long can it be before Quidditch is an Olympic sport?

Kirk out

*it had to – er, come.  LOL


4 thoughts on “Synchronised Science

  1. Delayed response due to computer problems. Have kept diary since 1952. Beginning of entry on 15/2/52: ‘King’s funeral. Wore ATC (Air Training Corps) uniform to school. Came top in French dictation, one mistake. Now use shorthand (Pitmanscript) quite a bit and codes, e.g. COOB means ‘cat out of bag’.

    Spock out

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