Being televisually challenged but intellectually au fait with things, I had heard of Brian Cox but never actually seen him. Then the other day I caught up with one of his programmes. I wish I could tell you all about it but alas! I can remember very little as my attention throughout was riveted by Dr Cox himself. Is there a more irritating presenter on TV? He doesn’t just smile a lot; he never stops smiling, which gives to his voice that grinning quality so beloved of advertising voice-overs and cheesy comedians. But it’s more than that: his face, his eyes as he gazes into the camera, his flawless complexion and the sheer aura of Utter Charm – all say ‘Oh, my God! Look at me! I’m so knowledgeable; I can give you all this info about science and I understand it all – but at the same time I’m so gorgeous and cute! Isn’t that amazing?’
Sheesh! Give me David Attenborough any day. Now that man truly is amazing: well into his 80’s, multi-talented and still chasing rhinos in Africa. Here’s his latest prog:
And here’s Brian Cox’s incredibly irritating website:
His relentless smiling reminds me of synchronised swimming. Now, there’s another thing I hate. How is that a sport? I’m not denying that it’s difficult or strenuous, but it’s a performance. It has artistry but it’s not a sport.
Quidditch for the Olympics
What I’d really like to do is take a scalpel to the Olympics. From a series of half a dozen easy-to-follow events it has become a bloated monster in a world where every sport aspires, however unrealistically, to be an Olympic sport, so as to get the kudos – and yes, of course, the dough. The day I learned that tiddlywinks had been granted Olympic status I gave up on the whole thing. Not that anybody noticed: as Basil Fawlty responded to the Major when the latter looked at his newspaper and ejaculated: * ‘Strike, strike, strike! Why do we bother, Fawlty?’
‘Didn’t know you did, Major.’
How long can it be before Quidditch is an Olympic sport?
*it had to – er, come. LOL