No, this isn’t a post about The Hobbit; it’s about Mark. Mark really is something else – first of all this morning, he complains about the sun; then he tells me he’s ‘put a chad on the asteroid’.
And why did he complain about the sun? I hear you cry. (Well, I don’t – but let’s assume I do.) Was it too bright? Too low in the sky? Getting in his eyes? Not hot enough? Not clear enough? Nope. None of the above – he was annoyed at the sun because of the way people describe it.
What – as in, hot, bright, yellow, blazing, golden? As in, deliciously warm, beneficent, busy old fool, unruly? As in, this sun of York? Nope. As in ‘a yellow dwarf.’ Apparently that description (think ‘Red Dwarf’ being named for a small reddish star) is quite inaccurate and it’s just terrible that you can only describe astral bodies as dwarves or giants and not something in between.
So, having got that off his chest, he followed it up with ‘I’ve put a chad on the asteroid.’ Weary as I already felt, I knew I wouldn’t be able to rest until I understood, so I gritted my teeth and asked.
‘You know,’ he said, ‘a chad – that thing with a face and two hands…’
‘I know what a chad is!’ I interrupted him, my teeth now gritted so hard it was astonishing that I could utter a syllable. ‘What asteroid???’
‘The one I put on my video yesterday!’ he said. I think such an ‘it’s-bleeding-obvious’ tone of voice ought to be punishable by death. Anyway, here’s the asteroid:
and now you have it: there’s a chad on Mark’s asteroid and we’re all describing the sun wrongly.
Bonkers and Curly-Haired
This could easily be a description of Mark but isn’t. So, speaking of this sun of York, I finally caught up with the Channel 4 prog on the last Plantagenet. It was very interesting, not least of all because this is happening not a mile from where we live – it was weird to see all these so-familiar locations on TV, almost as though they’d filmed it in our living-room. Though it was a serious and informative documentary they still couldn’t resist playing up the telegenic angle: the programme featured a woman from the Richard III society who seemed completely out of her box: she actually cried when the skeleton was found to have scoliosis, so fixated was she on proving him to be sound in spine as well as in morals. If it had been her father they were exhuming, she could hardly have been more emotional. And alongside her was a grinning bloke with unfeasibly curly hair who didn’t have much to contribute but looked dramatic: needless to say the camera hovered around these two more than it focussed on the serious archaeologists. Though, to be fair, Richard Buckley (whom Mark knows slightly) had quite a lot to say.
It brought back so many memories of my own archaeological experiences, digging ditches in an iron-age barrow. Anyway, I think it’s brilliant that they’ve found him and that there’s so much interest in him world-wide. This will really put Leicester on the map and I’m sure the city is going to make the most of it.
PS just looked on freecycle and I see someone is offering a ‘used mirror’. Hmm – does it not work so well if you’ve already looked in it?