OK so according to some government boffin nurses don’t know enough about ordinary patient care and should spend a year as a Care Assistant, performing basic care tasks, before they are allowed to begin their training. Whereas it should be obvious to anyone with even minimal eyesight that the problem is nurses not having enough time to care for patients. And why? Because they are drowning in paperwork! Nurses have been complaining about this for years: many of them report not even having time to see to their own needs ie go to the toilet, eat or drink while on shift – because their time is taken up with pointless bureaucracy. So here’s my solution; rather than making nurses do extra care, make the NHS managers, of whom there are thousands and who earn way more than nurses – make them spend a year doing patient care. Or better still, get rid of them altogether and bring back Matrons!
And no, you are not allowed to do a Kenneth Williams voice at this point!
I imagine that if nurses watch ‘Casualty’ it would tend to make them angry. Nurses and doctors in Holby City ED seem to have time not only to care for patients but to do follow-up counselling, even visit them in their homes – and also to sort out the relationship problems of their colleagues. Still, it’s a mistake to take ‘Casualty’ so seriously: Mark and I generally have a good laugh as we watch and we often play games such as ‘guess the condition’ or ‘Casualty Bingo’. Many’s the time Mark’s looked at a patient and said thoughtfully, stroking his chin, ‘seems like Sprocket’s Disease to me’. And lo! two minutes later Nick the clinical lead strokes his chin and says ‘Mm. Seems like Sprocket’s Disease to me.’
‘Amazing, Holmes!’ I splutter. ‘How do you do it?’
Casualty Bingo is also great fun and only requires a little preparation; you each have cards and you mark off common ‘Casualty’ expressions when you hear them. Popular ones are ‘sats at 96’, ‘taken in to resus’ and ‘tachicardic’.
Try it yourself next Saturday – it’s so much more fun than regular ‘Casualty’!
Off to philosophy this morning where we are talking about reason. I think therefore I drink.
Oh, no – wait, that’s next week…