Have Brussels bureaucrats burgled Middle Britain? Does your goldfish have lung cancer?
Not sure? Try the new Daily Mail headline generator:
It’s loads more fun than regular Daily Mail headlines. And let me know what you come up with…
In the meantime, can I interest you in a cynical comment? There are certain people of my acquaintance who can be relied upon in this regard, particularly when you express enthusiasm, commitment or even interest in anything vaguely political. ‘Ah yes,’ they say darkly. ‘That’s all very well. But they were responsible for…’ (insert heinous crime here.) Usually I avoid such people because, like Chandler in ‘Friends’, they can’t help themselves:
Of course, such people are not true cynics. A true cynic lives in a ceramic jar in the market-place:
And speaking of markets – Leicester’s least-loved building, its Indoor Market, is to be demolished. It is a deeply depressing place: those few brave souls who have taken stalls in there sit buried in the darkness and blink at the approach of a customer like POW’s in a cave hearing the footsteps of rescuers; and their stalls sell obscure types of knitwear or horrid tracksuits you wouldn’t even bury a corpse in. So the indoor market will not be missed: apparently it’s to be replaced with something called a ‘plaza’. I always thought plaza meant a square, but it seems that councils, Humpty-Dumpty-like, can use such words to mean just what they choose. Still, the plans here look a lot better than what we’ve got – but then plans always do, don’t they? But if they regenerate the area I shall not have a syllable to say against them:
It’s not the Vatican though… but I am impressed so far by the new Pope. This is rather a novelty – I’m so used to the heartsink that follows the inauguration of a new Primate with every pronouncement on women’s rights, sexual relationships, abortion etc etc etc and which basically signal that nothing will change, EVER. Yes, the world moves on and, God knows, the entire population could move to Mars – but the Pope would still carry on condemning abortion. But this one does look slightly different. I’m not aware that he’s said much yet on the usual issues, but he has nonetheless done some impressive things. Apart from seeming very personable, he has reportedly eschewed pomp and replaced the usual silver chair with a wooden one and has recently said that atheists can be redeemed just as much as people of faith.
So that’s a good start.
And finally… come on down to the Ale Wagon tonight where I am performing for International Women’s Day for Disarmament:
And now I must get on with Friday. I may see if the local mosque is open for general prayers for the aftermath of the Woolwich murders.
PS It wasn’t – but there was apparently an inter-faith event at the central mosque. So that was good.