How to Knit a Poem

Yesterday was a little painful; I freecycled some corrugated plastic from the shed and while I was pulling a bit out, a heavy table-top fell right on my foot.  I yelled and rushed indoors, to the consternation of the Freecycle-ee, and shouted to Mark to get the comfrey cream.  I slathered it all over and carried on; however, later I woke up after a nap (I’d had a short night) to find it throbbing so badly I could hardly walk.  And thus I stayed all evening with it propped up on a cushion, watching TV and moaning softly at intervals and calling for drinks and biscuits.

But! This morning it is much better: however, I will not be going to Philosophy as it’s still a bit tender and I don’t want to walk too far on it.

Now: I don’t know about you but I’m never short of subjects for poetry. And this weekend, in between all the monologues and the dancing I’ve been doing some knitting.  I had some lovely thick blue wool left from an aborted jumper which was just begging me to do something with it.

Now, I’m a rather bolshy knitter as I don’t like following patterns. There’s no leeway with a pattern; no its or buts; no ‘you can do it this way if you want: there’s no dialogue. All you get is ‘knit one, purl one, knit to end of row.’  That’s it.  No compromise, no dialogue; no ‘what do you think of this?’ or ‘how did that work for you?’  Just ‘do this, do that, do the other, knit to end of row.’

So I decided to just do it my way. How hard could it be?  And I created a hat and scarf all by myself.  I decided how many stitches to cast on and how long it would be and what the pattern would be.  And guess what?

Yep.  It’s utterly brilliant.  Except that… well, it was too wide at first so I had to make it narrower, and I couldn’t decide how long it should be.  So it’s kinda weird.  But funky!

And then I made a hat.  This time I adapted the pattern as I didn’t have the right size needles or the right thickness of wool; so I just reduced everything to 1/3 the original.

Simple, right?  Well, it started off OK but something went wrong at the end; and the resulting hat would be just right for a Smurf.

OK so now I have a weird and wonderful and utterly eccentric hat-and-scarf set.  What next?  Six-fingered gloves?

No.  I’ve learned my lesson with gloves – and the lesson I’ve learned is that they are bloody impossible.  So I’m not going there.

But I will most certainly get a poem out of this.  Watch out for it at Pinggk!