Maybe it’s because I’m a Londoner… I don’t know. It could be because I’m a Londoner – but I really, really like Cockney rhyming slang. Cockney rhyming slang is one of my favourite kinds of slang: it’s poetic, it’s inventive, it’s creative – and it makes you think about rhyme. Everyone knows the common forms, such as ‘plates of meat’ and ‘apples and pears’; but the beauty of Cockney rhyming slang is that it isn’t just traditional; it’s evolving. People make up new forms of rhyming slang all the time. For example, how many of these do you know?
a Cadbury’s
an Irish
a butcher’s
the frog
pen and ink
skin and blister
titfer
tea leaf
?
Let me know…
One of the rudest – ‘the Barclay’s’ (think about it) was frequently used by Kenneth Williams in his rather sad and lonely diary entries: but my all-time favourite piece of Cockney rhyming slang comes from the 80’s TV series ‘Minder’.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078657/
Starring George Cole and Dennis Waterman, it featured a dodgy ‘businessman’ and his minder; and one week George Cole complained that his ‘Chalfonts’ were killing him. No-one outside London would have a hope of understanding this, and it even took me a while. You have to work out that there are two villages to the North of London called Chalfont St Peter’s and Chalfont St Giles; then to reflect that not much rhymes with ‘Peter’s’, and then to figure out that the most likely rhyme for Giles is ‘piles’.
Brilliant!
Language is constantly evolving; and that is one of its most exciting features. Spellings such as ‘alright’, once considered anathema, are now the norm – and why? Because everyone uses them. Everyone except pedants like me, that is. I don’t mind spellings such as ‘alright’ because there are many other examples of similar contractions and anomalies in English spelling; however what I don’t like is usage so lazy that it conveys an attitude of ‘I don’t give a toss’ – such as the phrase ‘my bad.’
Have I mentioned this before? I think I may have… anyway, here’s a poem about it:
For Your Good
The incompleteness of the sent-
it sends me into shudders
though realising what you meant
it lacks grammatic rudders
so as you blunder into shot
so I must thunder: My bad what?
what is it that is so ungood?
Bad leg? Bad arm? Bad winter?
A mouldy apple? Rotten wood?
Bad finger after splinter?
It sounds as awful as it looks
– I’ve written you in my bad books.
What’s wrong with saying ‘my mistake’?
… and so on. It’s a very satisfying rant to perform.
Kirk out
PS and thanks to John for this link:
Sarada Gray 