Someone on Facebook has suggested that Mark could be called ‘Am’ for short. This strikes me as very appropriate, given that I’m thinking about what the hell he Am… What ARE he? Someone else has suggested that nothing much has changed for me apart from Mark’s clothes and his name, but this is not the case. An awful lot has changed. His personality has changed – admittedly, mostly for the better, but it is nonetheless disturbing: there’s the make-up and the shaving and the nail-polish and the hiding of the Adam’s apple and and and… As I said before, it’s not just cross-dressing. He takes hormones three times a day, for example. And the pace of change is quite rapid, too: just as I’ve got used to the status quo he goes and does something else. Just as I’ve (sort of) got used to people calling him Amanda (or Am, or Mandy, or MandyMark), he goes and makes it all official by changing it with a deed poll. So I don’t know what the implications of that are either. And every time I get used to something happening, something else happens. It’s kind of an onslaught.
But it’s not so much what HAS changed that worries me, as where this is all going and how it fits together. I know where it’s not going – that much is clear. But where IS it going? Are there more changes afoot? And what implications does it all have for our married life? If I’m not married to a woman what AM I married to?
What AM Mark?