Two for one today – here’s an extra post requested by facebook friends during a discussion on Friends. If you watched that series even half as obsessively as I did, you should recognise most of the events here.
It starts with a Rembrandt or two
who say that they’ll be there for you
a fountain, some jiving
a bride who is skiving
cos everyone says she’s a shoe.
Ross is a dinosaur dude
and Joey loves women and food
they hang out in a bar
Phoebe plays the guitar
ugly neighbour reclines in the nude.
In series three Joey gets dumber
Drake Ramoray’s killed off – what a bummer!
the museum hires him
then Monica fires him
they go to Montauk for the summer
You can knock Joey down with a feather
when Rachel and Ross get together
but let’s not get cocky
it looks a bit rocky
we should keep an eye on the weather
that coffee-shop girl’s on the make
and Ross makes an awful mistake
when they do more than kiss
– but answer me this:
say, were they, or not, on a break?
Phoebe has embryos planted
her song-partner takes her for granted
now Phoebe is bitter
she’s sold for cat-litter
her smelly-cat jingle is chanted.
Ross and Emily’s two weeks of fun
turn into romance on the run
he suggests they get married
the motion is carried
but aren’t they just jumping the gun?
The wedding plans all go awry
Phoebe’s too pregnant to fly
like Thomas a Beckett
comes Rachel to wreck it
Ross says, ‘I take thee Rachel,’ – oh my!
Meanwhile in a bedroom close by
Chandler and Monica tie
some knots of their own
– just look how they’ve grown!
the end of an era is nigh.
Events take their pre-scripted course,
Ross and his chippie divorce
the triplets appear
they drink lots of beer
and Chandler makes cranberry sauce
We’ll take a large latte to go
as Phoebe weds Mike in the snow
Joey has a good grouse
as the Bing’s buy a house
Rachel’s job is in Paris, and so –
It ends with a Rembrandt or two
who sing that they’ll be there for you
as they bring home the twins
and Joey’s head spins,
and although it’s insane
Rachel gets off the plane
and that’s how it ends
– no more fountain, no jiving
no Central Perk skiving
no picture-frame peephole
no half-insane people
yes, that’s how it ends:
is there life without Friends?
Let’s see what’s on BBC 2.
c. Liz Gray, 2011