There are times in life when only poetry will do. Philip Larkin expressed a lot of his frustrations through his poetry and I’m convinced there would be a lot less violent crime if potential criminals learned to express themselves through words instead of through fists and guns. So, in the interests of preventing a violent crime in our household, here is my poem about living with teenagers, inspired by that famous poem of Larkin’s with the four-letter word in the first line:
Larkin’s Guide to Parenting
You have to let your kids fuck up
you may not want to but they will,
leave coke stains in your coffee-cup
while running up the leccy bill
By day, he’s welded to his bed
and getting up for class? – forget it;
by night he plays the Walking Dead:
your heart bleeds, and you have to let it
There’s no solution; but just wait
till they have offspring in their turn
and suffer the exact same fate
then you can laugh as, finally, they learn.
© Liz Gray, 2014
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