Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka-dot Tahini

Whatever happened to real spam?  I mean the Monty Python variety?

We used to have spam fritters when I was a child; which are just about the only palatable way of consuming this horrid squashy mixture of ‘meats’; but I suppose nowadays if you were to Google ‘spam fritters’ your spell-checker would auto-correct it to ‘spam filters’.  Still I guess a spam fritter could be a sort of upgraded spam filter – one which fries the spam and sends it out into the ether to be consumed.  Very satisfying.

Real spam – proper Spam – used to come in an oblong tin shaped like a tiny mausoleum.  Impenetrable to the ordinary tin-opener, they came with a miniature key stuck to the top which fitted into a tab and, when turned, slowly peeled off the lid.  A bit like a password, I guess…

That gives you the idea, though it doesn’t appear to be a tin of spam, or at least not British spam.

We used to have spam a lot (ho ho) when I was growing up: my mother thought it was essential to have protein with every meal and so we had bacon for breakfast, meat and two veg for dinner and some lighter form of animal protein for lunch, such as tuna, corned beef, haslett or – of course – spam.  I can’t look at corned beef now, but before I was veggie I loved it, especially mashed up and fried with ketchup.

But since I’ve gone veggie, I’ve been persuaded that non-animal sources of protein are lighter and more efficient.  Beans and pulses are excellent.  Mind you, I draw the line at tahini.  I can’t stand tahini.

I can’t stand it atoll…


Kirk out