It’s about time I posted a biographical-type entry rather than bombarding you with short stories, so let’s see – what’s been happening? Since Sunday I’ve been busy working as per usual and preparing some comic poems for Red Nose Day in case some emergency comic poetry is required. I might get to do one at Sound Cafe today, though there hasn’t been as much time for poetry lately as there was before. Anyway, the comic poems include ‘Ode to the Upperton Rd Bridge’, which is a William McGonagall parody; a series of limericks about D H Lawrence (yes, I know); a poem about getting older which is a dialogue between self and mirror, and another series of limericks called ‘On Not Speaking a Scandinavian Language.’ I went through a real limerick phase a few years ago and I couldn’t stop writing them – I must have at least half a dozen series of limericks on various subjects.
So if you know of any Comic Relief events which would benefit from poetry please let me know.
Spat of the week award – as well as prat of the week award – goes to none other than Jeremy Clarkson. I wouldn’t watch Top Gear if it was the last programme on TV, but I can understand the appeal of someone who tells it like it is. The appeal diminishes greatly though according to the views they express; so that, say, Russell Brand would be more attractive to someone on the left (although I don’t like him) while Clarkson caters for the disaffected to the right. However he loses credibility when he makes racist comments and (allegedly) throws a punch at his producer. So I am on the side of the BBC here (British Broadcasting Corporation) and not that of the BBC (Bring Back Clarkson).
In other – though perhaps not unrelated – news, last night I ventured out of my comfort zone into what was until recently the local Conservative Club. They have widened the membership now and it is no longer exclusive to Tories – my reason for going was not, however, to experience the new ambience but to scope the place out for an Artbeat quiz. Five of us nervous left-leaning Liberal pinkoes gathered apprehensively in the bar – but we need not have worried. The clientele were welcoming and friendly, the quiz was great fun and contrary to our expectations we ended up winning! Normally I’m crap at pub quizzes because they seem to feature a kind of general knowledge which has passed me by, such as the names of arcane soap opera characters or who sang the song which kept ‘Frankie Goes to Hollywood’ off the No 1 spot with ‘Relax’. Actually I know that one – do you? But between us we managed to sweep the board and to get a clear round in the literature section – which, since most of us were in the Literature Tranche* of Artbeat, would have been humiliating had we not done so.
The prize turned out to be a bottle of wine – not just one bottle to share, but one each! So I did pretty well out of the evening, especially since people bought me drinks.
The best quiz question was about Beatles songs. The clue was a list of things starting with Triumph – I can’t remember what the others were – and I guessed that they were varieties of strawberry, hence ‘Strawberry Fields Forever.’ I was very proud of that one..
*if tranche is the word I want, which it probably isn’t