What is the Matter?

I just don’t know about all these words.  I mean, what is going on here?  In my day, a monitor was a child in charge of the school milk. *  In my day, a hard drive was a long car journey; a mobile was a twirly ceiling-decoration, a text was a book to study and a keyboard was a musical instrument.  And a mouse was a small, cheese-eating rodent.  In my day things were what they said they were and you knew what was what.  In my day everything made sense.

Of course such ranting is as out of place as Canute trying to hold back the tides (except that we know that’s not what he was doing, see previous post:

https://lizardyoga.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=8788&action=edit

Words change inexorably as the tide comes in and goes out; and as people on radio 4 are forever pointing out, words which were once horrifyingly rude are now part of everyday speech, and vice-versa.  I refer you to ‘Cor, blimey!’ which I was once told by a Sunday-school teacher never to say as it meant ‘God, blind me.’  She seemed to think God might decide you meant it and carry out the deed.  What absolute balderdash.

Now there’s another obsolete word.  I quite like balderdash, but it has upper-class overtones which means no-one uses it nowadays.  Everyone’s too busy developing their fake glottal stop so they can sound aw’ right and dahn wiv’ the people.

But I digress.  Actually they prefer peanut butter to cheese.  Mice, that is: we were infested with these pestiferous beasts in our old house.  Traps seemed to have no effect as they skipped nimbly round them; though occasionally we would find the splattered body of a tiny baby mouse caught in one.  This made me feel like an absolute arse.  Peppermint oil liberally sprinkled, would protect your vital areas from predation, but we used up an awful lot of the stuff and everything ended up tasting of mint.  In the end the mice all died out.  Perhaps they got demoralised by continually feeling they weren’t wanted.

I know the feeling…

Yesterday was terribly busy: today I shall just be finishing the painting, pottering about with poetry and taking a good long bath.

Kirk out

PS a bonus point to anyone who can tell me why I put that title to today’s post

*in my day there was school milk!

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10 Comments

Filed under friends and family, God-bothering, herbalism

10 responses to “What is the Matter?

  1. No bonus point for me.

    Spock caught out

  2. Sarada Gray

    Tut, tut – I was relying on you Spock!

  3. Totally agree with you about balderdash:-) lovely post x

  4. Hamlet:

    Polonius: What do you read, my lord?

    Hamlet: Words, words, words.

    Polonius: The matter that you read, my lord.

    I like balderdash, too. It goes well with poppycock. In fact, you can sing the words ‘balderdash and poppycock’ along to the keyboard riff of Earth, Wind & Fire’s Boogie Nights. Try it! It never fails to give on a lift…: )

  5. Sarada Gray

    Congratulations! You receive today’s bonus point! You also get one up on Spock…

  6. Sarada Gray

    And I like the balderdash and poppycock lyrics idea

  7. Congratulations Graeme and thank you for removing a weight from my shoulders. We Vulcans are not completely without emotions.

    Spock out

    • This Cor-Blimey business – yes, I was told it meant “God Blind Me” by my Maths teacher and one of the nuns when I was at convent school. I’m not Catholic BTW so maybe that had something to do with the fact it was felt I needed to be told this information LOL

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