‘Casualty’ episodes come thick and fast, and when I saw Saturday’s title I thought there was a typo. ‘Objectum?’ That’s not a real word, is it? But the writers leave no stone unturned (in this case quite literally) in their quest to bring us strange and outlandish medical conditions, and Objectum Sexual is indeed a recognised Thing.
This week Max is still skulking and spitting at Zoe whenever she comes within range; Jacob is toning himself down a little bit; Duffy is only visible as a few hairs and a left ear and Louise is back in nursing uniform and complaining that a medium size is too big for her. But the story of the week is a love story. A stag ‘do’ goes wrong when the groom is left handcuffed in a condemned building and doesn’t turn up for the wedding; the villain turns out to be not the best man as everyone suspected but the father of the bride. But this story is on the side of the main one, which is a woman found wandering nearby in a distressed condition. She seems to be concerned about the groom. She’s very upset and she definitely seems to be in love with someone who is about to be lost to her.
But it isn’t the groom. She is suffering from – or perhaps enjoying – a condition called ‘Objectum Sexual’ which is a tendency to fall in love with buildings; and she’s in love with the building that’s about to be torn down.
I never heard of anything so preposterous, but apparently it’s a recognised condition and according to Mark it’s perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Well, I never thought she should be ashamed, but normal it ain’t. Nor is it particularly desirable, I’d have thought: your chances of living a fulfilled live are kinda slim when you’re in love with an office-block. How are you going to consummate your love? It’s not as if you can bring up a brood of tiny flatlets, now is it?
Anyhoo, they knock down the condemned building and the woman is distraught. She’s taken to Holby ED with cuts, abrasions and General Weirdness but all is not lost! because she falls in love with – yes, the hospital itself!
It won’t go anywhere. I think she’s just on the rebound…