Dang, women just can’t get it right. You try to be a model and even though you’re a size 10 they say you’re too fat. You work as an air hostess and even though you’re not overweight you get sacked – because you’re just too fat. So you go to the doctor for help – and the doctor says you’re too thin. You ask your family and friends and they all say you’re too thin too. So what’s a girl to do?
I don’t have a clue what my BMI is – do you? I don’t even know what it means. I mean, I know it stands for body mass index but I don’t know what a healthy one is or what mine might be. I know how much I weigh and I could probably work it all out from there if the height charts weren’t all in metres, but why bother? I know what the healthy weight for my age and height is and I can tell by looking how much fat is on my body.
I can feel it too. Hmm…
Anyway, I have a suggestion for Chris Conway’s next gig – which incidentally is next week: he should do a version of the National Anthem but in a minor key. We would all stand in respectful silence and then have a chorus of ‘Share and Enjoy’ or alternatively something from ‘Star Trek’. What do you think Chris?
Here’s the photo from the gig: Weds 23rd at Firebug, Leicester