The Tumbleweeds

Once upon a time there was a terrible comedy troupe called The Grumbleweeds.  They were utterly corny and combined music and comedy in a new and awful way.  They were nearly as bad as the Barron Knights, who did song parodies.  And apparently the Grumbleweeds are still going.  It’s hard to know whether the blurb on their website is for real or ironic when it talks about them having ‘dominated the UK comedy scene since the 1960’s.’  You could have fooled me.  Any number of comics are around nowadays and I haven’t heard a whisper of the ‘Weeds for decades.  Apparently, for The Grumbleweeds, who continue to enjoy tremendous success in the business, 1998 marked an exciting change in their career. After 25 yrs in show business, as a five piece musical band, the group decided that the time was right to make a major change in direction.
Drawing on all their years of experience and know how, they developed, up dated, and introduced a sparkling new, fast moving act, embracing the entire spectrum of entertainment, to take them into the millennium with a vengeance.’

So now we know.

Oh dear oh dear.

And why am I so grumbly this morning, you may ask?  Well, it may have something to do with the hours of sleep I’ve missed.  I keep waking around four and after peeing my brain starts hammering away at something and then I figure I might as well sit up and start writing my diary.

At around four am I tend to be grappling with fears: and one of them is what you might call a tumbleweed fear.  It goes like this: my dreams come true and I’m a famous writer: I’m on TV being interviewed by Andrew Marr after winning the Nobel Prize for Literature.  Out of nowhere I say something so unbelievably idiotic that everyone just gapes.  The silence stretches on and on; a tumbleweed moment.

Hence the title.

So once I’ve grappled with all that stuff it it gets to about six and there’s not much point in going back to sleep.  So at the moment I’m deciding to go with this pattern and try to sleep a little in the afternoons.

It’s not much, but it’s a life…

Incidentally I once saw Stephen Fry deal very cleverly with stage-fright: he came on to rapturous applause and immediately (and comically) began to reel off a list of all his worst fears: fainting, vomiting all over the audience, saying something deeply inappropriate…  That last one is my worst fear.

So that’s it for today my little sugar plum fairies.  I wish you all a very sparkly Wednesday.

Kirk out

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