Having posted those handy hints last week and got a very gratifying spike in views, this week I find that nobody’s here. What happened? Have you all gone on holiday by mistake? Are you all at party conferences? If so you’re not at the Labour Conference because that hasn’t happened yet: if you’re at the Lib Dem one, commiserations. It sounds awful. But this weekend I’m off to Liverpool to meet Jeremy and friends; and because I’m a delegate my brain is in tying itself into a pretzel trying to figure everything out. I’ve been to conferences before but none as large as this and I’m trying to understand procedure (not a hope; I don’t do bureaucracy so I’ll just have to whisper to someone sitting next to me) as well as checking out the timetable including main events, fringe events, member-only events, information for delegates, passes, voting cards, conference papers and of course the festival which will be raging outside the whole time like some sort of benevolent storm. It’s like trying to juggle confetti.
It wouldn’t be so bad if I were just going as a member. But several months ago it seemed like a good idea to volunteer as a delegate. ‘I’ll get all my expenses paid,’ I thought. ‘It’ll be an interesting experience,’ I thought. But as a delegate I’ll have to try to be On Top of Things. I’ll have to vote for stuff and try to represent the views of my CLP (local branch) as best I can. I’ll have to write a sort of report-thingy afterwards.
Oh dear god.
And that’s me today. Is anybody out there? It’s awful quiet in here.