I Must Go to B&Q. It’s the Only Solution to This Intense Cold…

I had a whole day planned today, what with it being a Bank Holiday; I was going to plant out all my tomatoes and butter beans.  But it’s so cold I haven’t got the heart to put them out yet, so instead I’ve just bunged the poor things in the greenhouse to toughen them up a bit.  And now I’ve gone all floppy and listless, without the will to do anything.  Ah well.

I did make it to B&Q this morning, as did the rest of the East Midlands: it is of course a typical thing to do on a Bank Holiday since in B&Q you can get everything for the garden, including fences, decking, hot tubs and pond liners.  But everyone in these places is so miserable you’d think they were in Dismaland.  No-one makes eye contact, nobody smiles; it’s as bad as being in Sainsbury’s.  A propos of which, on Saturday I avoided the great orange monolith and went instead to the outdoor market.  I bought half a dozen local free-range eggs, some excellent grapes, some apples and a few books, all with cheery smiles and genuine banter, not the compulsory ‘how-are-you-today?’ the poor sod at the till has to give.

So at B&Q I managed to manhandle the garden canes, rosemary plants and growbags but was defeated by the compost.  So I asked a nice young man to help, which he did.  When I got to the till I asked again if someone could help but the young woman didn’t seem to know what to do and in the meantime inexplicably stopped serving.  I could feel the impatience of the people behind and began to feel uncomfortable.  Eventually the bloke behind offered to help not out of friendliness but from impatience.  I had to manoeuvre the trolley down to the bottom of the car park, sensing his impatience growing all the time and feeling more ill-at-ease by the moment.  Finally he wrestled my compost bags into the car and left.

So – back home I planted the rosemary and put some of the tomatoes into bigger pots.  And now I’m off to Hathern to pick up a roller-blind.

And that’s today.

Kirk out

5 thoughts on “I Must Go to B&Q. It’s the Only Solution to This Intense Cold…

  1. And how did the car cope with all of this?!

    I was people-watching on the ferry home from Dublin. The restaurant staff aboard were all smiles if you were ever able to make eye contact, but as soon as they went about their duties clearing tables they looked a right miserable bunch.

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