I had a whole day planned today, what with it being a Bank Holiday; I was going to plant out all my tomatoes and butter beans. But it’s so cold I haven’t got the heart to put them out yet, so instead I’ve just bunged the poor things in the greenhouse to toughen them up a bit. And now I’ve gone all floppy and listless, without the will to do anything. Ah well.
I did make it to B&Q this morning, as did the rest of the East Midlands: it is of course a typical thing to do on a Bank Holiday since in B&Q you can get everything for the garden, including fences, decking, hot tubs and pond liners. But everyone in these places is so miserable you’d think they were in Dismaland. No-one makes eye contact, nobody smiles; it’s as bad as being in Sainsbury’s. A propos of which, on Saturday I avoided the great orange monolith and went instead to the outdoor market. I bought half a dozen local free-range eggs, some excellent grapes, some apples and a few books, all with cheery smiles and genuine banter, not the compulsory ‘how-are-you-today?’ the poor sod at the till has to give.
So at B&Q I managed to manhandle the garden canes, rosemary plants and growbags but was defeated by the compost. So I asked a nice young man to help, which he did. When I got to the till I asked again if someone could help but the young woman didn’t seem to know what to do and in the meantime inexplicably stopped serving. I could feel the impatience of the people behind and began to feel uncomfortable. Eventually the bloke behind offered to help not out of friendliness but from impatience. I had to manoeuvre the trolley down to the bottom of the car park, sensing his impatience growing all the time and feeling more ill-at-ease by the moment. Finally he wrestled my compost bags into the car and left.
So – back home I planted the rosemary and put some of the tomatoes into bigger pots. And now I’m off to Hathern to pick up a roller-blind.
And that’s today.