When I was a youngling people used to wind me up by saying ‘patience-is-a-virtue!‘ whenever I got impatient about something. But regardless of their sing-song self-righteousness, patience is in fact a virtue and one that’s in short supply right now. I’m not boasting here (really not) but my brain works very fast and zooms ahead of me all the time, so I find it hard to be patient. This means I need to practise all the harder because being on your toes and frowning all the time is not a good look, nor does it make for a happy and peaceful life.
Everything in our modern world conspires against patience. Driving habituates us to speed (or the expectation of speed) so that when stuck in traffic we paw the ground and snort like a bull at a gate; similarly because supermarket checkouts can process items very quickly we resent standing in a queue and waiting – as I was the other day – for some woman when her shopping had been beeped through to pack it all away and rummage in her bag for a purse and find the Nectar card and then the sodding bank card and then REMEMBER THE PIN NUMBER!!!!!!!! A lot of deep calming breaths did I practise but I was still impatient and she felt our impatience and smiled at the snorting queue and said ‘Sorry, more haste less speed’ and clearly felt so bad about holding us up that, reader, I was ashamed. And when subsequent to that event I found myself on the road wishing a cyclist weren’t in the way and indulging fantasies of knocking them off their bike (only momentary, you understand, but still) I thought, ‘My dear woman, you have to seriously take yourself in hand’. And so I do.
Computers are of course a key factor in this. I find it very hard to focus on one thing at a time and if a page takes more than a few seconds to load or hassles me with adverts and cookie declarations (please click on C is for Cookie, that’s good enough for me and while you’re about it would you like to take your survey? No thanks) then I find myself getting very impatient.
Enough! This must and shall stop. So, how does one practise patience? I am reminded, dear friends, of a character in La Peste whose idea of making the most of time was to stand in a long queue, wait till you are at the head of it, then leave. No, on second thoughts I don’t think that’d work. So, how do we do this? First, I shall walk more and drive less. That will take out one plank of this buzzing edifice. Next I shall learn to value waiting. Look around me, take in my environment, think some thoughts, maybe even start a conversation, recite a poem in my head or chant a mantra or write some thoughts in my notebook but anything that not only passes the time – for that is half the battle – but values the time so that you regard it, not as time wasted but as time spent.
What would be a useful way to spend time, say, in a supermarket queue? Imagine you’re several shopping-loads short of a checkout and it’s going to take a while, what can you do? Well, instead of watching each beeping item inch down the conveyor belt (cuddly toy, cuddly toy) some useful thoughts and ideas might ensue. This would I think involve entering a different frame of mind from the usual Sainsbury’s-consciousness. Of course another way would be to avoid supermarkets altogether. Wouldn’t that be nice? I’ll update you as to how my patience practice evolves, now hurry up and post some comments!
I have a great deal more to tell you about What I Did On My Birthday and which books I’ve been reading but that’ll have to wait for another day.