Some mornings I get six incomprehensible things shoved at me before I’ve even finished my first cuppa, and this morning was one of those. First, OH was talking about the Half-Bakery, a repository for weird or half-baked ideas (hence the name). It’s quite a waste of time, though as OH heatedly informs me, some of the ideas have gone on to be produced in what we are pleased to call the real world.
So this morning, before my bleary eyes had even fully-opened, a load of stuff is coming my way:
OH: I’ve had an idea for the Half Bakery
Me: Oh? What’s that?
OH: It’s a Brexit Advent calendar.
Me: Sounds like as much fun as Dismaland. Monday, Gloom, Tuesday, Hard Border, Wednesday, Food Shortages, Thursday, Labour Shortages…
OH: Yes, but it wouldn’t work because of Call for List
OH: You’re not allowed to make a list of things
There’s a pause and I go back to doing the crossword. But no, it’s not over; there’s more.
OH: When’s Listopad?
OH: Listopad! When is it?
Me: What the hell is Listopad?
OH: Don’t you know?
Me: Sounds like a brand name for post-it notes
OH: Ha ha. It’s a month. In the Slavic calendar.
Me: Oh my god. You actually think I know this.
This is just some of what I have to deal with in the mornings. And I hadn’t even had a cup of tea yet. It’s not fair.