Am I Actually Awake?

How do you know if you’re awake? It can be very disturbing to think you’re awake and discover that you’re dreaming, and many’s the night when I’ve been convinced I lay awake only to be told that I had snored copiously. Then there was the time when I woke up and moaned: ‘I can’t slee- zzzzzzzzzzzzz’.

But it’s one thing not to know you’re asleep but even more disturbing not to know if you’re awake. In the early hours of yesterday I had a very vivid dream in which Peter Capaldi was playing Dr Who dressed in the outfit Peter Davison used to wear which in this particular dream consisted of red trousers under a long flowing red gown. ‘He’s wearing the wrong trousers,’ I thought, a little like Wallace having a nightmare, and when I heard OH get up and I recounted my dream to him. Then I went back to sleep. Except that later when OH came in with the tea it transpired I hadn’t told them at all. It had been another dream – or if you like, a meta-dream.

This morning was even more bizarre. Not only was I awake, I was sitting up and drinking tea when I saw that a friend had invited me to join a Richard Dawkins group on Facebook. While slightly unexpected, this would not be out of character; however when I clicked the link it said I would have to answer two questions before I could be accepted: first, Do you believe in science? and second, do you believe in God? Of course I answered Yes to both and then waited to see if I’d be accepted.

In the meantime I couldn’t help wondering what it would be like. Would the group accept me or would they pound me with questions about god and religion? It was on my mind so much that I wrote an entire blog post about it, but decided I wouldn’t publish until I heard back from the group admin.

But here’s the weird thing: not only did I not hear back from the group, I can’t find any trace either of it or my invitation to join. And the friend in question disclaims sending me an invitation of any sort. The more I think about it the more I think it must have been a dream, but it’s just about the weirdest one I’ve had.

Anyway, I think I’m awake now… last night I watched the much-anticipated drama series Quiz, about the ‘coughing Major’ who cheated on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? So far it’s good; it reminds me of Slumdog Millionaire and Michael Sheen is almost too convincing as Chris Tarrant, so much so that you forget it’s not the man himself. That’s on ITV, Mondays at 9. If I haven’t dreamt that up as well…

Kirk out

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