The day begins at 5 am with sleeplessness and goes on until you give in and call it a – well, a day because now that it’s got to 6.15 there is Absolutely No Point in trying to doze off any more. Fortunately I don’t have an arduous day – or at least, no more arduous than usual, just work and visiting relatives. Relatively easy, ho ho. But as anyone knows who has ever had a rough night, sleep or the lack of it can cast a pall over the most joyous of lives, and if you have problems which on a normal day can be kept under control, on a day like today they run riot. It’s like a wet playtime in school.
So: I won’t burden you with all the problems I’m facing on a daily basis as I have blogged about these before; but it would have been nice if ‘Newsjack’ had appreciated my sketch enough to broadcast it. It would have given me a little lift; instead of feeling that nothing ever goes right, I’d feel that one small thing had at least been achieved.
If any of you have ever suffered problems which just seem to go on and on; which get better one day only to get worse the next: which seem in fact to get better to give you false hopes only in order to dash them on the rocks, you’ll know what I’m talking about.
Apologies for the downer today. And now, to cheer you up, here’s the sketch I wrote – which I and OH both thought was funny:
Theresa May’s Leadership
‘GAME OF DRONES’
F/X: BACKGROUND CHATTER, CLINK OF CUPS, HISS OF COFFEE-MAKER ETC
JOURNALIST 1: I give up. My paper wants an editorial on the current political climate but I don’t understand politics any more. Nothing makes any sense
JOURNALIST 2: It’s easy. You have to stop seeing it as politics
J1: You mean –
J2: Just think of it as popular culture. Everything’s dumbed down these days, right?
J1: I guess…
J2: So take the Great Repeal Bill: it’s just like Game of Thrones.
J1: Taking us back to medieval times, you mean?
J2: Exactly. Repealing every piece of legislation since Henry the Eighth
J1: Or Sixth
J2: Or Henry the Fourth part one
J1: OK – I get that. But Theresa May is just inexplicable
J2: No, no – she’s just like that robot in Futurama
J1: Bender? The one who bends girders?
J2: Exactly. She’s bending the Tories up and down…
J1: Right and left…
J2: …over to Northern Ireland…
J1: …up the Magic Money Tree…
J2: You’re getting it
J1: But what about the leadership challengers?
J2: Well – you know the cat in Dilbert?
J1: Catbert? The evil genius? What about him?
J2: Isn’t it obvious? That’s Jacob Rees-Moggy! All he does is sleep in a corner of the House of Commons watching with one eye open and awaiting his chance.
J1: That’s brilliant. I totally understand politics now. There’s just one thing I don’t get
J2: What’s that?
J1: How do you explain Boris Johnson?
J2: There’s no explanation for Boris Johnson.
What sort of time do you call this?