The Lurgy Has Struck

I’m very bad at physical illness.  I’m like Frasier when he has a cold, very sorry for myself, and demanding food and drink at all hours.


It’s an odd thing really; I’m pretty good at shouldering mental and emotional stuff; I just scream and moan, then get out of bed and on with the day.  But give me a heavy head cold and I’m confined to barracks moaning and groaning.

Fortunately I’m not often ill.  But today I am; my head aches, my limbs ache, my nose is producing enough snot to float a battleship and I am tired, tired, tired.  Having got OH to make me breakfast I shall probably sleep a little more.  Plus I’m getting through the paracetamol at a rate of knots.  I’ve been taking echinacea and lime and ginger tea with turmeric.

So I’ve mostly been dozing in bed, but I did eventually get up and watch back-to-back episodes of ‘Inside No 9’, ‘Dad’s Army’ and ‘Frasier.’  Waiting for Holby to come on now.

See you on the other side…

Kirk out

PS It’s odd that I should post a link to ‘Frasier’ when the news broke of his on-screen father dying.  Here is Kelsey Grammer’s tribute:


Bye Bye Auntie

No more Auntie for me!  For as of today it is no longer legal to watch the iplayer without a TV licence.  To be honest I don’t think this is particularly unreasonable: the Beeb in her infinite wisdom puts nearly all her programmes up for viewing about ten seconds after they’ve aired, so you’re not really losing anything by waiting.  I don’t really know why they do that: it’d be fairer in a way if they left it for a day or so.  They’re sticking with the licence fee for now, although I think that’s going to have to change at some point: subscriptions seem to be the way to go.  Then again, I’m going to be house-sitting in a few weeks so I’ll be able to watch TV in that place.

We gave up TV years ago, partly because it was expensive and partly because our Home Edded children were watching far too much of it.  We were down to a few programmes a week and eventually this whittled down to two: Friends and Frasier.  Then first the engaging Friends and then the infinitely wittier and more intelligent Frasier ran their course and went plink.  And that was that.  The TV ariel socket was disabled so that we could use it to watch videos and nothing else, the licensing people sent us regular threatening letters but never actually came even though we begged them to come and look at our mangled socket; and we took to viewing endless back to back episodes of The Simpson’s.

And then we got a video camera!  The kids had hours of fun with this; as much fun as my sister and I had with our first reel-to-reel tape recorder, making spoof adverts and radio programmes and laughing endlessly at the sound of our own voices.

And now?  I don’t know.  There’s plenty on All4 which one may view for free; we have a large stash of DVDs and if the worst comes to the worst I can always read a book…


Anyway, I’ll leave you with my favourite ever episode of Frasier, the one where he and Niles lock themselves in a hotel room and try to write:


Happy viewing!

Kirk out

Can You Do The Vagina Tomato Dance?

Today I woke up thinking about joke introductions.  No, I don’t mean the sort that go ‘I was walking down the street one day when…’ or ‘three men walk into a pub and…’ or ‘I was at a football match when…’  Nay; I mean a way of introducing – or perhaps I should say, describing – yourself, that is in itself contradictory.  And hence becomes a joke.

OK I’ll give you an example.  This one’s a classic:

Pedantic? I?

I remember that one from Frasier.  And then we have the ever-popular:

Pretentious? Moi?

which is probably my favourite.  So I started to think about extending this range.  And I came up with a few:

Repetitive?  I myself personally?

Rastafarian?  I-and-I?

Selfish?  Me-me-me?

Hyper-correct?  Myself?

Stutterer?  I-I-I?

and so on.  I suspect there is a limited range of these but if you come up with any more, let me know.

In the meantime I shall be monologuing Vaginally as it’s the finale of Everybody’s Reading Week:

and dancing barnily as it’s the Martyrs barn dance this evening.  Oh, and Tomatoing this morning.  So all in all it’s a vagina-tomato-dance kind of day…

Kirk out

PS  Oh, and remind me not to go to any more poetry events at The Font.  That’s twice I’ve been down there now and nothing has happened.