Am I becoming a grumpy old git? No, tell me honestly because I just don’t know. I decided to watch some of the Davis cup coverage since Andy Murray had been playing so well, and I had to turn it off again. Why? Because of the bloody crowds. I couldn’t stand the noise. They were like a football crowd, for god’s sake, bellowing and chanting and blowing horns and yelling and jumping up and down – between every effing point! I could not stand it. I tried turning the volume down but then I couldn’t hear the commentary or the ball and you need to hear the ball to follow the game properly. I put the subtitles on but they were too bloody small! In my day you didn’t have to put your glasses on to read things. In my day they made everything big enough. In my day nobody jumped up and down and yelled – or at least they had the decency to wait until the end of a game – but these lot were baying and chanting the whole effing time, even between a first and second serve. It must have been very trying for the players to wait for quiet all the time. Yes, I get the excitement – I feel it too – but there’s no sense of climax if you’re at top volume all the time. It’s just ridiculous. I’m not snobbish about football – I mean, I don’t like it and I don’t understand it, but I can see it’s appropriate to chant and shout because it doesn’t distract the players. But this is tennis, for god’s sake! Show some restraint!
It reminds me a little of the audience of ‘I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue.’ Perhaps they were the same people: they bay and shout and cheer at the slightest opportunity. They are totally hyper when the show starts and if Mornington Crescent is announced they practically explode. They even like the hackneyed conversations between Hamish and Dougal who, in my opinion, ought to have had their tea and been put out to grass years ago. They’re just NOT FUNNY any more!
I must go now as my Sainsbury’s order is here. I shall practically explode with excitement if this carries on…